The Optimal Response
Fragments from imaginary dialogues
“I messed up.
What is the optimal response?”
“It’s a matter of optimally directing attention.
Let’s first focus on the opposite question: (Inversion)
What is the worst response?”
“Focusing on the problem, instead of the solution.
Focusing on what you can’t control, instead of what you can.”
“If you dwell on the problem, you’re stuck in the past.
This is a sunken cost pattern – the past, which is outside your control, influences the present.
As long as you’re stuck in the past, you’re more likely to mess up again, which makes the problem bigger, hence more likely to mess up yet again. This negative feedback loop is a downward spiral pattern.
The optimal response requires breaking these patterns by focusing on what you can control.
It’s useful to think of it as a practice.”
“What is the structure of the practice?”
“As I see it, it has three components:
– Connecting with your Self / BodyMind through your Breath
– Reconnecting with your Center, with your deepest Meaning, however you conceive it for yourself
– Expanding / Opening (Standing Tall, Structural Alignment, Expansive Stance)
– Radical Acceptance / Self-Love
– Letting Go of judgments
– Letting Go of the past
“How about getting a small win immediately after?”
“Centering and Resetting is a small win. It’s worth celebrating.
Getting one more win can make it even more powerful.
Brian Johnson has a beautiful idea which he calls Destiny Math. Every win is a +1, every loss a -1.
The initial loss is a -1.
Centering and Resetting is a +1, which negates the initial loss.
One more win is another +1, which puts you ahead.“